tale tell heart

tales to tell.
I find my self doing fine in terribls situtions and I'm a wreck in stable frame of mind.
what is that I remember for ther night Sean and I got standed in Albuerquerque. I know liked it. all the way through. and Sean hated it because he spent a time in his life being homelless in Salt Lake. i got to this point where on day two on the streets. of course we spent it at the gathering sleeping in the belcony seats most of the morning and aftnoon. the people we meet. andre bee, manuel, deedra bee. Sean loses his glasses, I don't do any about, manuel gets at the los n found then the night of Spring Crawl..

so it goes... 2

I started writing memoirs from my college days, Im cutting the BS and find myself somewhere back there somewhere. I hate what i've become. There is a lot fear of life and no fear for the darkness. .. I don't care for my own life only the life of my niece, K auhnilaiyah. I have a play date for her now. I hope it's every monday. I get to see the mother too. she's beautiful.
I find it hard to think of things to write when I'm sitting at the typewriter. but when i'm away things just come to me. and I forget it. it's fustrating. The only it was raining I could think of anything to write, but to write poem about the rain. it was depressing. October rain.
I have watched Where the wild things are last night with my sis, and niece. It was a great movie. it made me tear up at the end when the monster came running back to see Max off, then he howled.
I've always wanted to be King of the Wild things. I think I still want to be.

faker

counting days hasn't been my thing for the last of the school year. I took things one day at a time. I had problems sitting around and doing nothing. waiting for the next pay check or even wait for the breaks to come. I never mind the weekends. but they were too short. I would sleep most of them away then get back to work.
The only thing I watched day by day was the weather from time to time. The snow days were used up before the winter break. But I couldn't stand home, I had to drive my mother to work every day. reason was the snow was deep in the mountains and the roads were slick. And I felt than it was better to travel in pairs in the winter.
Some of the days were bitter cold when the wind pick up and clouds roll in. the humid cold blew right through the doors and windows. I once woke up needing to use the restroom but I didn't want to get out of bed for the longest time. and to make things complicated we have no pluming so we use an outhouse over a hundred yards away.
in the winter getting to work was hard but i manage to get there without getting in trouble. but that's a lie. My boss wanted me and some other teacher aides to pull morning duty in and out side of the school. so the trick was to get there before the boss got to work. And he was always arrived late in the winter time. so the others and I did enough to fake it.

asorted

My head buzz with a fuzz in a tired daze.
I loaded up on chocalate during lunch. I suppose it wasn't the best idea but it felt good.
I dreamt of monsters the other night. I was shot in the back, again.
This pass weekend, the busiest weekend of all. running around the back hills with a camera, its great!
The weekend here was perfect. on the side though, has high winds and snow fall. this morning there was about three inch of snow in my yard.
Friday the wealther in LA was nice. but the drive was long, in-and-out. hmmm burrr-gerrrrs!-!
Pasadena has really pretty ladies. ("I once was pretty, not the monsters you now see")
I wonder if really had anything to say .... I know I wanted to write something. just anything really. now they're goin to bump a more aches in my lap. I just going to gripe about it and I have no one to bich to. I can't wait to get it over with. ASAP. I need some sleep.
Hondo drove back to Hollywood to return the rentals with Kumen. I should have give a list thing to get from the flimtool store. but I needed money. I didn't have any at the time.
I still have My reason of doing things and not. Its not complicated. I just have strange logic or even simple logic wrapped with anti-humor.
Anti-humor, a good way to find out who has low-brow humor or has a wry way of looking at things that are not funny.

nonsense

there was nothing to say long before saying any at all. is it not true nothing is said but obvious encounters. Nothing real was said for fear of other thoughts. weakness daunt the soul ambitions to create and distroy.
I can no more of think of the past. it is gone out my hands and the future is coming in by the barrel loads drown my heart with hope of a new life.
eyes watch me . not the ones in my head but the one in the hills to the stars. I move with care like a chess piece. but deep wtihin life is fleeting from the fire. only flickers and ambers scatch at the darkness. the balance powers of lust for life and death of life kick and tear at each other. balance. matter and anti-matter. yin and yang.

no one no more

it's hell sitting and watching student dick around the class room. not one will listen any more. th room is a buzz of chatter and laughter.
my head aches form just sitting and staring around at what the kids are doing. many days have passed. I watch them sit and do their work on occasion. hell I do nothing but watch and keep things on time. in time what is there to do?

just wasting time

one more day in the sun.
It's almost time for spring to jump out of the ground.
About two weeks ago there were bees flying around in the mountains.
now the night temps have dropped back down to the teens.
I can finally drive over the muddy roads and get all the home.
no more walking for me.
then spring will come around melting snow and ice.
then it will by a muddy hell in the back roads in Crystal, New Mexico.
and then...
this week has flown by so quickly, I didn't get chance to moan and groan about the week being too long.
Outside the navajo nation library I heard a wolf howl from the zoo area.
It was haunting and beautiful.
I think of cold winter nights when the moon is full.

movie time

I have watch movie for a the past couple of months.


I've watched Valkyrie, My bloody valentine, Marley & Me (which is a good movie), Gran Trino (very excellent movie), Hotel for Dogs, Unborn, The Day the Earth Stood Still. I think thats it.

some movies that are come to theater. Aliens vs Monsters, the WatchMen, Star Trek, Xmen origins: wolverine,

another movie I saw over the weekend was Inkheart. I heard of the book but I didn't read it. I know people who readed. I have a feeling that the movie might lask some stuff to it. I t might be because of the book or the sceenplay was the cause of the whole thing. I wanted more from the movie. even though the movie was nicely done. FX were great. just more story.

wait

fiveO'clock the time keeps on ticking.
the sun bends down low and freezing air gentling blows.
I wait for the sun to go and for the mud to freezz up.
So I can drive home with out a fuss.
A movie would be nice right about now.
I had the strangest encounterment over the internet and things could find themself in strange new lands
The oddest thing, I tell you.
I still think about Dave Chapell's skit on the Internet.
"The dirtiest place on earth."
now i wait.

This is practice before the big show. Three Bad Jacks were in Gallup town. My friends here were warming up to open for them.
No wait, this one of the practices before a show but not the one for the Three Bad Jacks' show. Sorry for that, I got my mind mixed for a minute. You know it happened a long time ago.











I tried to get some angles. I squeezed-in here and there in the small place they were practicing. Those were the days. The bands name is SxOxLx: shit outta luck. they're from Allentown road AZ.

Write it down

I don't have much on the mind.
I did sign up for face book now.
the snow came down in the mountains.
I have brown tinted sun glasses. They give the world a wonderfull tint, especially at sunset and sunrise.
This morning was great. The sun came up over the low clouds high lighting the snow in the shaded area.
i can't find somethings to write about. I don't want to open up to tell of my mind. but I do feel calm and rested. Near placid.
Its fun to let go of the past.
well back to work.