thought flow

it all begans with a thought... the past . I spent my time thinking how to write about my friends' and I. Ernest Hemingway, I read the short stories, in our time, it gave me the idea of short almost pointless stories. something about nothing. but interesting in the way they are written. now what is next. I hardly remember much about what happen from time to time. I have an vaeg and board momery of what when down. nothing too specfic. now how do i write it. simple like sherman alexis. it's good story line but simple and lite heartedly written dark subject. rather safe way of portraying the rez life. sometimes it not that safe and lite hearted. well not the navajo reservation or anywhere where there is a geto. i'm not saying that we're all snakes. there are good people out there. how do i get it out.

somethings I don't like about sherman alexis writing and his permoting the indian/native american and making his charactors proud of being native american. what about the non-indian indians. I'm not proud of being indian. I enjoy being an indian. I'm not proud of being on the rez. I enjoy being on the rez. even though its a dump. the people throw their trash every where and don't care about anything. I'm a human. but that's not what people see. they see my skin color and ethicity. I'm not an "apple" either (red on the outside white on the inside). i'm simply educated. Living on the rez is an art form. I'm an artist living among artists. but for some it's not living at all. for most its a depressing place to live. Because there are no night clubs and fancy places to eat and foxy ladies everywhere. I don't think they know what they want. it just said that it sucks to be here. too much movies with stuff blowing up and guns firing and alot of hollywood effects. t.v. has ruined the generation. but anyway, i'm thinking off track. sherman alexis' indains are too cheesy for the navajo people and are mocked and laugh at too much that being in any kind of charactor would be shund out of the public. because lost of connection.

what can i say. I used to be like this; bored of doing nothing and going to school all day and get home to watch TV and play video games (the more the destruction the better) but of course this was back in late 1980's thur 1990's when I grew up and still growing. (my friend sean once mentioned that its more like growing than growing up. meaning it something to do with the effect of learning things all the time. and something along the line that if you grow up your limiting your mind to what you think a grown up is.) how did I find out that thing can be different I one place. do things your self. make it happen. people may find it fun as well and join in. now i'm going way off my subject.